The Dumb And The Senseless
by Faerie-Tail-Nitemarez
Summary: This is what happens when Me, Bob, Steve, and Moo Moo meet up with the cast of Trigun.
1. Chapter One

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The Dumb And The Senseless

Summary: This is what happens when Me, Bob, Steve, and Moo Moo meet up with the cast of Trigun.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vash or anyone else from Trigun, but I do own Bob, Steve, Moo Moo , and of course I own myself. Oh and I do own a Vash plushie (hugs plushie) "OH VASH-U I WUV-U!!!!".

And Moo Moo says "MOOOOO!!!"

Chapter One-Herbal Essence and Meetings of Another Kind

Me:*walks in store and buys a big bag of Herbal Essence* Ah, Herbal Essence *gets in car and drives to the park*

Bob: *sees Me* Hi! Me, wut ya doin?

Me: Nuttin just goin to sit under this tree with my Herbal Essence.* sits under tree and pulls out a bottle of Herbal Essence* Ahhhhhhh!!!! * opens bottle and raises it to mouth*

Steve: Hey!!! wudda you doin Me?

Me: *takes a swig of Herbal Essence* quenching my thirst, you guys want some?

Bob&Steve: *nod*

Me, Bob&Steve:*are drinking Herbal Escence when a bunch of blue rabid-looking squirrels appear out of no where*

Blue rabid-looking squirrels: HOW DARE YOU!!!!

Me: What? *Takes another swig of Herbal Escence*

Blue rabid-looking squirrels: *gasp*

Leader blue rabid-looking squirrel: *points a furry finger at Me, Bob&Steve* ATTACK MY FELLOW BLUE RABID-LOOKING SQUIRRELS!!!!!!

Me&Bob:AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*both run away*

Steve: *squirrel is gnawing on his head* Huh? *realizes there is a squirrel biting his head and starts yelling as he runs around in a circle*

Me&Bob: *hiding in a barrel* *sigh*

Steve: *runs into a tree, knocks the squirrel loose and jumps into the barrel* HI!!!!! Guys.

Bob: Will you shut your trap!

Steve: *says stupidly* I will if you shut your pie-hole!

Me: *puts hands over both Bob & Steve's mouths* Shhhh They'll hear you.

*gunshots are heard outside the barrel and someone looks into the barrel*

Someone: Are you guys alright?

Me: *looks up* VASH-U!!!!! *jumps out of the barrel and tackles Vash*

Vash: *is tackled to the ground by Me* *muffled* Hewo.

*Bob and Steve also get out of the barrel*

Bob: *sighs and sits on the ground as Me continues to smother Vash* Man am I glad to be out of there. *a shadowy figure looms over him* AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *jumps back in the barrel*

Vash: *manages to stand with Me still hanging from his neck* Hey it's only my brother Knives.

Knives: He screams like a girl.

Steve: *finally realizes what's going on* KNIVES-U!!!!!! *starts to chase Knives*

Knives: *runs from Steve* VVVVVAAAAAASSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!!!

Bob: *comes out of hiding* Hey Me.

Me: *lets go of Vash's neck and turns toward Bob* Yeah Bob?

Bob: *throws a rifle to Me* You know what to do.

Me: *catches rifle and aims it at Steve* Yup.

Vash: *begins to freak out* DON'T KILL HIM!!!

Me: It's only tranquillizers 

Vash: Oh.

Me: *shoots all of the tranquillizers at Steve missing every time* WHAT THE F^@K!!!

Knives: HHHHEEELLLPPPP!!!!

Steve: MMMWWWWHHHHAAAA-HHHHAAAAAAAHHHAAAAA.........HA!

Me: That's it. *chucks rifle at Steve's head* SHE SHOOTS AND SHE.......*rifle hits Steve's head and he falls to the ground* SCORES!!!!! *runs around doing the chicken dance* Oh yea! Oh yea!

Bob: *scratches his head* What are you doing Me?

Me: Victory dance, don't ask.

Bob: Ok.

Knives: *runs up to Me and crushes her in a big hug* THANK-YOU ME!!!! *is hit in the head by Vash and he drops Me* Hey why did you do that?

Vash: *sits on a couch that has appeared out of nowhere and Me sits on his lap and wraps her arms around him* Me is mine do not touch her or you shall.........HAVE TO KISS STEVE!!!

Knives: NOT THAT!! *crouches on the ground and begins rocking back and forth holding his knees*

Voice: Moo!

Bob: *gasps* Moo Moo!

Moo Moo: Moo moo moo.

Bob: *runs over to Moo Moo the cow* Hi Moo Moo how ya been?

Moo Moo: Moo.

Bob: Really? Me too.

Vash: How does Steve know what that cow is saying?

Me: *snuggles closer to Vash* You smell like doughnuts....Oh....well Moo Moo is our friend and we know what he is saying.

Vash: Oh ok. *thinks for a moment* Mmmmmm....doughnuts.

Moo Moo: Moo moo moo moo moo moo.

Me: *gasps* MOO MOO HOW DARE YOU SAY SUCH A THING!!!!!! *jumps up and runs over to Moo Moo*

Vash: Huh *he is confused*

Bob: Popcorn?

Vash: *jumps three feet in the air* How did you get next to me?

Bob: Magic, it works for everything. *eats popcorn out of a big top hat*

Vash: That would explain it. *eats some popcorn as he and Bob watch Me and Moo Moo*

Me: YOUR WRONG IT'S DOUGHNUTS!

Moo Moo: MOO MOO MOO!

Me: DOUGHNUTS!

Moo Moo: MOO!

Me: DOUGHNUTS!

Moo Moo; MOO!

Vash: *to Bob* What are they arguing about?

Bob: *scratches his head* You know what? I really have no clue.

Vash: But...but....never mind.

Me: DOUGHNUTS!!!

Moo Moo: MOO!!!

Will Me and Moo Moo ever stop arguing, will Steve wake up, will Knives stop rocking back and forth, will Vash stop being confused, will Bob stop eating popcorn, and will the blue rabid-looking squirrels return????? Who knows??? I do but I'm not gonna tell ya so your gonna have to read the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


	2. Chapter Two

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The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Two- Cigarettes and Blue Afros

Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun, at all. I'm sad.

*Me and Moo Moo are still fighting while Vash and Bob are asleep on the couch, Steve is still knocked out and Knives is on the floor curled into a ball sucking his thumb while sleeping*

Me: DOUGHNUTS!!!

Moo Moo: Moo moo.

Me: I'm glad you finally agree. 

*Me walks over to Vash and shakes him*

Me: *quietly* Vash-u wake up.

Vash: *in his sleep* Here Me have some doughnuts, they're gggooooodddd.

Me: VASH GET _THE F^@K__ UP!!!!!!!!_

Vash: *jumps up quickly* Huh? What?

Me: *grabs his arm and drags him towards her car* Come on we're going home.

Knives: *jumps up also* Wait for me. *runs after them and gets in the back seat*

*Vash gets in the passenger seat while Me yells to Bob*

Me: Bob you coming!?

Bob: *slowly awakens* Yeah sure why not?

*Bob gets in next to Knives who moves far away from him muttering something about 'stupid spiders'*

Bob: *after Me gets in and starts the car* What about Steve?

*Knives gets a frightened look on his face*

Me: Oh don't worry about him. *begins to drive home*

Knives: *sighs and then whispers to himself* That was close.

*somehow they get to Me's house extremely quickly*

Knives: Hey how did we get here so fast?

Vash: Magic, works for everything.

*Knives just shrugs as they get out of the car and go into the house*

Voice: MASTER!!!!!

*Knives is tackled by a blue-haired man.

Knives: *muffled* Hewo Legato.

Me: Please get up off my floor.

*Legato and Knives get up and everyone walks to the living room and sits down*

Vash: Hey Me got any doughnuts?

Me: Ya!!!! *both get up and run into the kitchen*

Knives: *crosses arms over chest* Humph.

Legato: *stares admiringly at Knives* Oh master you are ssssooooo great.

Steve: *opens mouth to say something but changes his mind and begins to twiddle his thumbs* Dum-de-dum-dum.

*toilet flushes*

Wolfwood: *walks into the living room and stops seeing the new arrivals* What are you doing here?

Vash: *walks in the room eating doughnuts* Hey WolfWood wudda you doing here?

Wolfwood: Just chillin *sits on the couch next to Steve and lights up a cigarette*

Me: *comes storming into the room with glowing red eyes* WHO IS SMOKING IN MY HOUSE!!!!!

Vash: *backs up* Whoa she has red eyes.

Steve: NOT THE RED EYES ME!!! TAKE COVER!!! *jumps behind the couch*

*Knives, Vash and Legato run into the kitchen while Wolfwood continues to stare at Me with a scared look on his face*

Me: AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!! *lasers come out of her eyes and hit Wolfwood*

Wolfwood: *Burnt extra crispy* *coughs out black smoke* Hack hack cough cough.

Me: *has calmed down* Aaahhhh. I feel ssssooooo much better.

Vash: *comes back in the room* I'm glad your feeling better Me-San.

Me: Aaawww Vash-u. *hugs him tightly*

Steve: *peeks around couch and sees it's ok to come out* Man, I thought I was a goner. *looks at Wolfwood* She got you good.

Wolfwood: Ya tell me a bout it. *coughs up more black smoke*

Knives&Legato: We're going out.

Me&Vash: Oooh ooh we wanna come too!!

Bob: I'm gonna go home. *looks at Me with a smile* Have fun Me.

Me: *smiles evilly* I will don't worry.

*Bob leaves and everyone looks at her*

Me: What?

*Everyone, including crispy Wolfwood leaves and goes to town*

Vash: *Me is riding on his back* Ssssooooo what are we gonna do?

Knives: *shrugs* Don't know.

Legato: Well I need a haircut.

Me: I'm hungry. *stomach growls extremely loudly*

Vash: Me too.

Knives: You guys just ate like five minutes ago.

*both stomach growls*

Knives: Okay okay, so while Legato gets his hair done we'll go get pizza.

Vash&Me: YAY!!!!

*Legato leaves them and goes to a barbershop*

*Knives, Wolfwood, Vash, and Me go to a pizza parlor and Knives and Wolfwood sit on one side of the booth while Vash and Me sit on the other side*

Vash: So what are we gonna get?

Wolfwood: I say we get pepperoni.

Knives: NO WE ARE NOT YOU SPIDER!!!

Me: SPIDER WHERE?????? *jumps up and runs around the restaurant looking for a spider*

*Vash watches as Knives and Wolfwood continued to fight over what to get*

Me: SPIDER!!!! *is yelling at a spot on the wall* * runs over to Vash* GIVE ME YOUR GUN, I MUST KILL THE SPIDER!!!

Vash: Huh? *is to absorbed in the fight and hands Me his gun*

Me: MMMWWWWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *shoots the spot on the wall five times* DIE YOU BASTARD OF A SPIDER!!!!!

Vash, Knives&Wolfwood: *notice that Me has a gun* AAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*they hide under the table as Me shoots the last bullet and then get up*

Wolfwood: Who the hell gave her a gun?

Me: *laughing hysterically as she is restrained by Vash and then is put in a strait jacket*

Vash: *coughs nervously* Um…me.

Wolfwood&Knives: WHAT!!!!

Wolfwood: ARE YOU INSANE?????? *whacks Vash over the head* YOU DUMBASS!!!

Me: *stops laughing and turns towards Wolfwood with glowing red eyes again* NEVER HIT MY VASH-U!!!!! *shoots lasers at Wolfwood*

Wolfwood: *coughs up black smoke* Sorry.

Me: *begins to laugh hysterically again*

Knives&Vash: *decided on cheeses pizza and are eating it calmly*

Wolfwood: *falls to the floor*

Me: *pauses laughing* Vash-u. *gives him big puppy eyes as her stomach growls*

*Vash feeds her with one hand while eating with the other*

Legato: *walks in, his hair is in an afro*

Knives: ........... What the f^@k happened to you!?

Legato: *dazed* I'm not quite sure, Master....

Me: That is wrong on so many levels. 

Vash: *nods while takes another bite of pizza* Yes it is.

Me: Oh well not my problem. *begins to laugh hysterically again.

*Legato sees Wolfwood and begins to poke him with a stick that he got from out of nowhere and Vash and Knives continues to eat*

Legato: *poke, poke* Hey are you alive.

Wolfwood: Help me.

Kuroneko: Nyao. 

Me: AAAAHHHHHHH KURONEKO!!!!!!!!

Kuroneko: Nyoa? 

Will Knives and Vash ever stop eating? Will Me ever get out of the strait jacket? Will Wolfwood ever not get attacked by Me's laser eyes? Will Kuroneko stop saying Nyoa???? Find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


	3. Chapter Three

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The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Three~ Something Big and Chocolate Fever

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, I do not want to talk about it anymore, I'm too depressed. Oh and I don't own Meow Mix or Hershey.

*Vash and Knives had finished eating and now Legato, Wolfwood, Knives, and Vash with Me over his shoulder (she's still in the strait jacket) are walking back to Me's house, while Kuroneko stayed behind*

Me: *is still screaming* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Vash: Me will you please stop screaming?

Me: No *continues to scream* AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!

Knives: Stupid spider needs to shut up.

Legato: I agree Master.

Wolfwood: *thinking* Don't say anything or she'll fry you again.

Legato: *thinking inside Wolfwood's head* Yeah, don't say anything or she'll fry all of us.

*They finally get to the house*

Knives: *goes into the kitchen*

Legato: Wait Master. *follows Knives*

Vash: *puts Me on the couch* There. *takes off her strait jacket*

Me: FREE! FREE! MMMMWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *runs out of the house.*

Wolfwood: Your not going to let her go are you?

Vash: *shrugs* Not my problem anymore. *sits on floor and turns on the tv*

Wolfwood: Okay whatever. *sits on couch*

* a few minutes later Knives and Legato came out of the kitchen and sat on the couch next to Wolfwood. Knives made Legato sit next to Wolfwood muttering something about spiders*

Me: *comes running in the house* Guys *tries to catch breath* something weird has happened. 

Wolfwood: They stopped making cigarettes?!

Me: No.

Knives: All the dirty spiders are dying?!

Me: No.

Vash: THEY CLOSED DUNKIN DOUGHNUTS?????!!!!!!!

Me: THEY CLOSED DUNKIN DOUCHNUTS?????!!!!!!!

Vash: Did they?!

Me: Oh no, but something weird did happened. Come on it's outside.

*Everyone but Vash goes outside*

Vash: Wow and for a minute there I thought they closed Dunkin Doughnuts. 

Knives: *comes back in house* Vash let's go. *grabs him by the collar and drags him outside*

Vash: HEY I WAS WATCHING THAT!!

Knives: There are more important things to do.

*outside*

Me: *points to a giant blue squirrel* isn't he cool?

Everyone but Vash and Me: No.

Vash: HE'S AMAZING COOL!!!! CAN I RIDE HIM KNIVES, HUH CAN I?????!!!!!!

Knives: No you cannot. *mutters to himself* But you can let the spiders have a go, they might have a little "accident".

Vash: Please Knives. *gives puppy eyes and pouty face*

Me: Aaawww Knives how could you say no to such a sweet face?

Knives: Fine, but I'm going out. *walks down the street*

Legato: Me too. Wait for me Master don't leave me here. *runs after Knives*

Wolfwood: Have fun. *goes back in the house*

Me: Ready Vash?

Vash: Yeah. *nods*

Me&Vash: 1...2..3...GO! *jump on the squirrel's back*

Me: HIGH HO BLUE SQUIRREL!!!

Squirrel: Kurplunk. *falls over on it's side*

Me&Vash: *get off of the squirrel* WHAT!!!!

Me: Wait I got an idea. *pulls out bag of cat food and starts to shake it* I WANT CHICKEN, I WANT LIVER, MEOW MIX, MEOW MIX, PLEASE DELIVER!!!!!

Vash: *sweatdrops* I don't think it's working.

Me: Okay, new plan. *throws bag of cat food over shoulder and a distant sound of a cat screeching is heard*

Vash: Hmmmmmm…ah ha! *pulls out a stick and pokes the squirrel*

Squirrel: *pops and deflates*

Me: *gasps* 

Vash: *stares at the deflated squirrel with wide eyes and open mouth* Oh my…

Me&Vash: *begin to laugh hysterically* 

Me: That was ssssooooo funny.

Vash: Yeah it was hilarious.

*they eventually stop laughing and go inside*

Vash: I'm bored.

Wolfwood: Me too.

Me: *pouts* I want chocolate.

Wolfwood: Then go to the store and buy some.  
  
Me: No, you don't understand, I want all the chocolate.  
  
Vash: *looks at me Me with a scared look in his eyes* Me are you okay.  
  
Me: *gets evil glint in her eyes* I have it all planned out. Tomorrow at 11:45 is the time that the security system goes on stand-by for about 5 minutes. We break in and find the guy who owns the place. We threaten him with this pillow. *pulls out an evil looking pillow* And force him to give us the whole Hershey business."  
  
Wolfood&Vash: Do we have a choice to go or not?

Me: Nope.

Wolfood&Vash: Thought not.  
  
*the next day at 11:45*

Me, Wolfood&Vash: *jump through a window into a factory*

Me: Let's go.  
  
Hershey Henchman Bodyguards: *come running to try and stop Me's plan* Stop you three! 

Me: *knocks them all out with the evil pillow and locks them in a closet* Let's go find the owner.

* They find the owner trying to escape and Vash and Wolfwood grab him* 

Me: *threatens him with the pillow and forces him to sign the papers* Alright boys get rid of him.

Wolfood&Vash: *throw the man out of the window* Mission accomplished.  
  
Me: *runs around the whole factory* ALL THE CHOCOLATE IS MINE!!!!! *starts stuffing face with chocolate*  
  
*One week later* 

Me: *has an extreme sugar high* WWWHHHHHHEEEEEE!!!!!! 

Vash: *sighs* Hey Me time to wear your pretty white coat again.

Me: OOOOOKKKKKAAAAYYYYY!!!! *gets put in strait jacket*

Wolfwood: I think we should get out of here.

Vash: Yeah your right. *grabs Me and puts her over his shoulder*

Me: *laughs hysterically*

Wolfwood: *tries to open door but can't* Uh oh, we're locked in.

Vash: WHAT!!!!

Wolfwood: Don't worry I can get us out. *starts fumbling with the doorknob*   
  
Vash: *sets Me on the ground* How long will it take?

Wolfwood: Uh…about three days.

Vash: *looks at Me who laughs hysterically and sighs* This is going to be a long three days.

Will Me ever stop laughing? Will Wolfwood figure out how to unlock the door before Vash goes insane? Will they ever get out of the Hershey factory? I'm not going to tell you, but you can find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


	4. Chapter Four

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The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Four~ Stuck In Bed

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, I do not want to talk about it anymore, I'm too depressed. 

*Wolfwood is still trying to get the door to the Hershey factory open and Vash and Me are sitting on the floor*

Wolfwood: *fumbling with the doorknob*

Vash: *banging his head against the wall* Need *bang* to *bang* get *bang* out *bang* of *bang* here *bang*

Me: *rolling around on the floor in her strait jacket* CHEESE!! CHEESE!! CHEESE!!!

Vash: *walks over to Me* Me please stop screaming cheese.

Me: *stops rolling and looks at Vash* Then let me out of my pretty jacket.

Vash: Fine. *lets Me out of her strait jacket*

Me: YES!! MWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!! *runs away*

Vash: *At least she's not yelling. *goes and sits against a wall*

Me: *comes back* Vash-U, what's wrong? *sits in his lap*

Vash: *cuddles with Me* Well…I really want some doughnuts. *pouts*

Me: Aaawww…well to tell you the truth I have a little surprise for you. *pulls out a box of doughnuts from out of nowhere* here.

Vash: *gasp* really? *practically inhales the doughnuts* THANK YOU! I LOVE YOU ME!!!!!!!! *kisses Me* ( ^_^ )

Me: I love you too Vash-U. *they cuddle*

Wolfwood: Hey guys I think we'll be out real soon. *hooks up explosives to door*

Vash&Me: Really? YAY!!

Wolfwood: HIT THE DECK!!!!!!!

*Wolfwood and Vash jump behind a desk*

Me: *takes a stick and hit's a deck of cards*

Wolfwood: That's not what I meant.

Me: Oh. *explosives blow up and Me is thrown across the room* AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!

Vash: ME!!!!! *runs over to her*

Me: *sits up* Holy sh*t…I WANNA DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Vash: How about no. *puts Me on his back* let's go.

Wolfwood: Yeah let's get out of here.

*They walk out of the hole where the door used to be*

Wolfwood: Hey I just thought of something.

Vash&Me: What is it?

Wolfwood: Well why didn't we just go out through the window we came in?

Vash: Oh yeah, I forgot all about the windows.

Me: I didn't.

Wolfood&Vash: WHAT!!!!!!

Me: Well yeah, I mean that's how I got those doughnuts. * ^_^ *

Wolfwood: AND YOU DIDN'T FU*KING TELL US!!!!!!!

Me: *stops smiling and gets red glowing eyes* NEVER USE YOUR POTTY LANGUAGE IN FRONT OF MY VASH-U!!!!!!!! *blasts Wolfwood with laser eyes*

Wolfwood: *burnt crispy* Sorry. *coughs up black smoke*

Me: *smiles again* S'okay.

Vash: Uh yeah…let's go home.

*Vash with Me on his back walk ahead of Wolfwood as they make they're way back to the house*

Vash: I wonder what time it is. It's sure getting dark out.

Wolfwood: I don't care. *coughs up more black smoke*

*They get to the house and go inside*

Vash: *walks over to the couch* Time to get off my back Me.

Me: ......

Vash: Me? *looks sideways at her and sees that she's asleep* No wonder she's been so quiet.

*He takes Me into her room while Wolfwood sits on the couch*

Vash: *sets Me on her bed* Goodnight Me.

Me: mmmm… *reaches up and grabs Vash, forcing him to lay beside her*

Vash: *being held down to the bed* Help! Wolfwood help me!!!!

Wolfwood: *walks in the room* No thanks, I don't need to be fried by Me's laser eyes anymore. *laughs and then leaves*

Vash: Help…

Will Vash ever be able to get up? Will anyone come to help him? Will Me wake up or let Vash go? I know but I'm not going to tell you. Find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter Five

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The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Five ~ We Didn't Do Anything!

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, I do not want to talk about it anymore, I'm too depressed. 

*Vash eventually fell asleep from struggling to much and him and Me are sleeping soundly in Me's bed*

Vash: *mumbling in his sleep* Mmmmmm doughnuts are ssssssoooooooo good.

*Downstairs Knives, Legato, and Wolfwood walked into the house*

Knives: *looking for Vash* Vash! Where are you!?

*Everyone but Knives sits in the living room*

Knives: *Walks up stairs* *mumbling* If I don't find you soon Vash I'm gonna… *makes crushing motion*

*Meanwhile Me had rolled on top of Vash and they are both under the blankets*

Knives: Vash are you in here? *walks in the bedroom and spots Me and Vash* VASH!!!!! WHAT THE F^&K ARE YOU DOING!!!!!!

*Vash wakes up and pushes Me off of him*

Vash: *rubs eyes* Huh? Why are you yelling?

Knives: *face is red and smoke is coming out of his ears* WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN BED WITH THAT SPIDER!!!!!!!

Vash: What do you mean?

Knives: I WALKED IN AND YOU AND THAT…THAT SPIDER WERE DOING …DOING I DON'T EVEN WANT TO KNOW!!!!!!!

Vash: WHAT!!!! You think…you think…that we were…we were…NO!!!!! WE WEREN"T DOING ANYTHING AT ALL!!!!!!

Knives: *still red in the face* Don't lie Vash, I saw you. *walks out of the room*

Vash: *follows him* Come on Knives you don't actually think we were doing anything, do you?

Knives: I don't think you were.

Vash: Finally you agree.

Knives: NO!! I KNOW YOU DID!!!!

Vash: Come on…nothing happened.

*they walk downstairs and everyone stares at them*

Legato: Why are you two fighting?

Knives: Well I went up stairs and saw something I really wish I hadn't seen.

Vash: *blushes* We didn't do anything Knives, I already told you that.

*Me walks downstairs all dressed and ready for a new day*

Me: Who are you people and what are you doing in my house?

Vash: It's us Me, we've been hanging out with you for a few days now, don't you remember?

Me: *looks around puzzled and then looks at Vash* VASH-U!!! *jumps in his arms*

Vash: I knew you'd remember us.

Me: ^_^

Knives: See how they act towards each other?

Wolfwood: *nods* Yeah, they sure do act real close like.

Vash: What are you talking about Wolfwood, you're the one who wouldn't help me get up when 

Me pulled me into the bed!

Wolfwood: Oh yeah.

Me: Do they think we did something Vash?

Vash: Yeah. *pouts*

Knives: I saw you two in bed together!

Me: We didn't do anything.

Knives: Yeah yeah whatever.

Legato: Master does not lie.

Me: *eyes glow red* WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!! *blasts Knives, Legato, and Wolfwood* So there, want to keep talking?

Knives,Legato&Wolfwood: *cough up black smoke* No.

Me: That's what I thought. *smiles*

Vash: *sweat drops* Um…how about we do something safe.

Wolfwood: Yeah something safe would be good.

Me: MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!

Vash: *looks around* anyone want to disagree with her?

Knives, Legato&Wolfwood: *wave hands in front of them* No, no.

Vash: Okay movie it is!!

*Everyone sits on the couch while Me makes popcorn and puts a movie on, then she joins them*

Wolfwood: What movie is it?

Me: *shoves popcorn in mouth* It's Home Alone!!!

*Everyone sweat drops while Me giggles and jumps up and down in her seat*

Me: YAY!!! MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

*One hour later*

Me: That was a good movie.

*Everyone is asleep*

Me: Guys? *looks at them asleep* He he he. *Gets evil glint in her eyes* You shouldn't of fallen asleep. *sneaks over to Vash and Knives, she silently takes both of they're guns and a handful of bullets* Now I have some guns to play with. *she leaves*

*outside*

Me: *raises both guns in the air* BE AFRAID!!!! BE VERY AFRAID!!!!! MMMMMWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shoots both guns once in the air and people all around her run away in a crazed panic*

*people are jumping through windows, getting hit by cars, and drowning themselves*

Me: Wow, I didn't know I could cause such madness. *grins maliciously* I like it. *continues to run around the town terrorizing people* MMMMMWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

*Meanwhile back in the house everyone wakes up when they hear gunshots outside*

Vash&Knives: *reach for they're guns but find them not there* F%^K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legato: What, what happened Master?????

Vash&Knives: ME HAS OUR GUNS THAT'S WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfwood: We're dead. *begins to cry* I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!!!!!!!

Vash: *slaps Wolfwood* Get yourself together man. Listen she has to run out of bullets sometime, so we'll go after her then, ok?

Knives: *nods* Yes that's the plan.

*Five hours later*

Knives: Hey I don't hear anymore gunshots, let's go. *goes outside*

*Everyone else follows him*

*outside* 

Vash: *looks around* Holy sh*t!!!!

*Buildings are destroyed, bodies are laying everywhere, and Me is sleeping in the street with the two guns*

Knives: *tiptoes towards Me* Everyone be quiet or you'll wake her.

Vash: *grabs Me and puts her in her strait jacket while Knives grabs the guns* Me you sure have caused a lot of damage.

Me: *grins* I know, isn't it CCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLL??????!!!!!!!!!

Vash: No. 

Me: Hey Legato, can I dye your hair green, it's much better than blue. *tries to reach him*

Legato: *covers his hair with his hands* No, I like blue.

Me: Blue looks ugly on you.

Legato: *sniffles* YOUR SO MEAN!!!! *runs away crying*

Vash: Me why were you so mean to him??? *begins to carry Me inside followed by Knives and Wolfwood*

Me: It's fun!!!!!

Vash, Knives, & Wolfwood: *sweat drop*

*inside*

Knives: *mutters to himself* Dirty spiders.

Wolfwood: What was that Knives?

Knives: Nothing, I'm going to take a shower. *walks upstairs*

Vash: *shrugs* Whatever. *sets Me on the couch and then turns on the tv*

Wolfwood: *sits on the couch* 

*five minutes later*

Knives: *singing in the shower* OHHHH…I WISH I WERE AN OSCAR MEYER WIENER!! THAT IS WHAT I TRULY WANT TO BE!! CAUSE IF I WERE AN OSCAR MEYER WIENER!!! EVERYONE WOULD BE IN LOVE WITH ME!!!!!!!!!!!

Vash, Wolfwood, & Me: *sweat drops*

Vash: *looks confused* Was that Knives???

Knives: *begins to sing again* I'M STUCK ON THE BAND-AID BRAND!!!!! CAUSE THE BAND-AID'S STUCK ON ME!!!!!!

Me: *nods* Yup, definitely Knives.

Wolfwood: *covers his ears* He's a horrible singer.

Will Knives ever stop singing? Will Me ever stop destroying things? Will Vash ever stop watching tv? I know, but I'm not going to tell you, find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


	6. Chapter Six

__

The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Six~ Precious and Oprah

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, I do not want to talk about it anymore, I'm too depressed. Oh and I don't own Oscar Mayer, Lord Of The Rings or Oprah.

*Knives is still singing in the shower while Vash, Me, and Wolfwood are sitting in the living room with their ears covered*

Knives: MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME IT'S O-S-C-A-R!! MY BOLOGNA HAS A SECOND NAME IT'S M-A-Y-E-R!! AND IF YOU ASK ME WHY, I'LL SAY!! CAUSE OSCAR MAYER HAS A WAY WITH B-O-L-O-G-N-A!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfwood: *eyes roll back in his head* MY EARS THEY BURN!!!! THEY BURN!!! *falls on the floor twitching*

Vash: *stares at him* Dude…? *pokes him*

Me: *somehow got out of her strait jacket* THAT'S IT!!!!! *stomps up the stairs*

Vash: Me wait don't go up there! 

*upstairs Me is heard yelling and then a high pitched scream id heard*

Knives: *comes running down the stairs barely dressed and his hair sopping wet* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me: *comes running after him with a piece of paper* YOU SHALL FACE THE TORTURE OF MANY PAPERCUTS!!!!!!!!

Knives: NOT PAPERCUTS!!!!!!!!!! *jumps on Vash's head*

Vash: HEY!!!! GET OFF OF ME!!!!!!

Me: COME BACK HERE!!!!!! *runs towards Vash who grabs the paper from her*

Vash: *tears up the paper* There, no more paper.

Me: *pouts* No fair.

Vash: *pulls Knives off of his head* You really are starting to annoy me Knives.

Knives: *whimpers* Just keep her away from me. She's one evil spider, a she-devil she is.

Me: *grins evilly* I know, hee hee. *runs into a closet*

Wolfwood: *dazed on the floor* 

Vash: Why did she go hide in the closet?

Knives: *shrugs* I don't know and I don't care.

Vash: *follows Me* Well I do care. *opens door to see Me hunched over holding something*

Me: *pets whatever is in her hand* They'll never takes you from us Precious, never ever. 

Vash: Me? 

Me: *looks up and hisses* You stays away from my Precious you hears. 

Vash: *sweat drop* Why are you talking like that Me?

Me: Me never tell. *runs away*

Vash: Oh well.

*Three days later* 

Me: *grins evilly* MMMMMWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vash: *singing* Bad boys, bad boys…whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

Me: *crouches down on the ground and puts her arms over her head* OH NO!!!!! The cops have found out what I did!!!!!!

Vash: *sees Me* Me what are you doing?

Me: DON'T HURT ME MISTER OFFICER, I DIDN'T DO IT!!!!!!

Vash: *stares at her* What are you talking about?

Me: *looks up* Oh it's just you Vash, I thought it was the cops.

Vash: *puts his hands on his hips* Me what did you do this time?

Me: *grins* Nothing I swear it.

Vash: *glares at her* Me???!!!!!

Me: *whimpers* OK, OK!!!!!! I DID IT!!!!!!!

Vash: But Me, **what** did you do?????

Me: *near the point of crying* I…I…I'M THE ONE WHO VIDEOTAPED KNIVES WATCHING OPRAH AND THE SOLD IT FOR A CAN OF STRING CHEESE!!!!!!!

Vash: *sweat drop* Is that all? That wasn't a bad thing.

Me: *sniffle* Really?

Vash: *smiles* Nope it was a good thing! *starts to laugh* Knives watching Oprah, that's something I'd pay to see.

Me: *smiles* Well if you come with me you can see it for free, come on. 

*They go to Me's living room where Me puts in a tape and soon an image of Knives watching Oprah appears*

Me: *watches and the tosses a tennis ball in the air and catches it over and over* Isn't it funny?

Knives: Isn't what funny?

*Vash and Me freeze on the spot then slowly turn around to see Knives behind them*

Vash: Nothing is funny.

Knives: *sees what they're watching* AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! WHERE DID YOU GET THAT FROM!!!!!!??????

Me: Nowhere.

Knives: *glares at both her and Vash who quickly stand up* GGGGGGRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

Me: *looks at the tennis ball in her hand and then back at Knives* *throws the ball at Knives head* POKEBALL GO!!!!!! 

Knives: Huh? *gets hit with the ball and falls to the floor*

Me: RUN!!!!!!!

*Vash and Me run away but not before grabbing the tape*

Vash: *laughs* That was perfect!

Knives: *gets up and begins to chase them* GET BACK HERE!!!!!

Vash&Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Knives be turned into a Pokemon? Will Me and Vash get away from him? Will they be able to sell more tapes for more string cheese? Who knows…well I do, but I'm not gonna tell ya, find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


	7. Chapter Seven

The Dumb And The Senseless

Chapter Seven~ Spending Time With The Family

Disclaimer: I do not own Trigun, I do not want to talk about it anymore, I'm too depressed.

*Me and Vash are looking for someplace where they can make copies of the tape while still running from Knives*

Vash: *pant, pant* Man, we have to find someplace where we can copy this tape.

Me: Yea. *stops in front of a store window* 

Vash: *stops too* Hey what is it Me?

Me: *smiles and points at the store* It's a Video copier store.

*sign in window says "Fast video copying for when you videoed someone doing something and they're chasing you" *

Vash: *gives a low whistle* Wow, just what we need right now.

*they go inside and get fifty copies made…Meanwhile Knives stops outside the same store*

Knives: *looks at the store* Hmmmmmm…I wonder if they went in here.

*sign now says "Not the place where people would come if they videoed someone doing something and then are being chased by that person"*

Knives: I guess not. *walks away*

*An hour later Me and Vash slowly peek out of the store and seeing no one there leave*

*Back at Me's house, in the basement*

Me: *putting letters into manila envelopes* This is the best idea ever.

Vash: *putting tapes in the manila envelopes with the letters* Yeah it is.

Me&Vash: MMMMMMMMWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Meanwhile at the evil lair of the Gung-Ho Guns*

Legato Bluesummers: *hums as he goes and gets the mail* Hey what's this? *holds a thick manila envelope, then shrugs and goes back inside*

Legato: *goes into the living room where Monev the Gale, Dominique the Cyclops, E.G. Mine, Rai-Dei the Blade, Leonof the Puppetmaster, Grey the Ninelives, Hopperd the Gantlet, Zazie the Beast, Chapel the Evergreen, Caine the Longshot, and Midvalley the Hornfreak are sitting* Hey guys we got something in the mail today.

Midvalley: What is it? 

Zazie: I hope it's not one more of Dominique's girlie magazines.

*Everyone but Dominique laugh*

Dominique: *whacks Zazie over the head* Next one who laughs is dead.

*They all shut up*

Legato: Anyway, I was just about to open it now. *opens it and reads the letter* It seems that it 's a tape of our dear old master Knives. *thinking* Oh mighty Lord Knives how I worship thee. ^_^

Everyone: MOVIE, MOVIE, MOVIE!!!!!!!

Legato: Okay, okay. Just shut up already.

*He puts on the tape and then sits down*

*They all watch as an image of Knives sitting on a couch watching tv appears, then they notice what he's watching and everyone but Legato starts laughing*

Midvalley: Oprah! How gay is that?!

Monev: You can't talk about anyone being gay, you're the one who wears pink.

Midvalley: It takes a real man to wear pink.

*Kenshin pops his head into the doorway*

Kenshin: Yeah only real men have the guts to wear it. *gives Midvalley a high five then does the victory sigh before leaving*

(I don't own Rurouni Kenshin either)

Legato: *thinking* Master How could you! You always said we'd watch Oprah together! *tears run down his cheeks*

Chapel: Legato are you crying?

Legato: *wipes tears away* No I just got something in my eye.

Chapel: Oh okay. *goes back to talking to the other Gung-Ho Guns*

Legato: *sneaks out of the room* MASTER HOW COULD YOU!!!!! *runs bawling down the hallway to his room*

*Inside his room he puts on his Cookie Monster pajamas and then pulls out a box of chocolate chip cookies. He turns on the tv and changes it to the channel with Oprah on it*

(I don't own the Cookie Monster, chocolate chip cookies and as a reminder I still don't own Oprah)

*Rai-Dei goes down to Legato's room, since he noticed his disappearance*

Rai-Dei: *opens door to see Legato eating cookies in pajamas watching Oprah and quickly shuts the door* I did not just see that. *walks away shaking his head furiously trying to rid himself of the horrid images*

*Meanwhile back at Me's house*

Knives: I AM SO GONNA KILL THEM!!! *walks down in the basement and sees Vash and Me laughing* Aha I found you!!!

Me&Vash: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knives: *Launches himself at Vash first* Gotcha! *starts beating Vash over the head with the tennis ball from earlier* Pokeball this!!! *hits him repeatedly*

*Me sees her beloved Vash-U getting beat and gets very angry, soon her eyes glow red and her body begins to glow as well*

Me: *Lets out a horrendous roar and attacks Knives, biting his head* Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!

Knives: *now has Me attached to his head, runs around screaming trying to dislodge her* AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!! HELP!!! PLAESE HELP ME!!!!!!!

Vash: *watches with interest* Hey you deserved it, no one hits me and gets away with it.

*Me then started to scratch Knives as well and Knives fell to the floor screaming like a little baby*

Knives: SHE'S RABID I TELL YOU!!!!!!!

Me: *starts foaming at the mouth* 

Vash: *begins to get worried about his brother's health* Okay Me I think he's sorry now.

Me: *stops and looks at Vash* Okay, just one more thing. *suddenly Knives bursts into flame as Me jumps off of him*

Knives: *runs around screaming*

Vash: STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!!!!!!!!!!!

Knives: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *stops, drops, and rolls until the flames go out* cough *black smoke comes out of his mouth*

Me: MMMMMMMMWWWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!! *glares daggers at Knives* Don't **F^*K** with Me.

Knives: *whimpers*

Vash: Are you okay now Me?

Me: ME MUST TAKE OVER THE WORLD NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *takes off*

Vash: Uh-oh, we've got a problem on our hands m=now. *runs after Me* WAIT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will Me ever stop attacking Knives? Will Vash ever catch up to Me? Will Me succeed in taking over the world? I know, but I'm not going to tell you, find out in the next chapter of......

THE DUMB AND THE SENSELESS!!!!!


End file.
